


Oh, the Places You'd Go (If you weren't oppressed by class society and wage labour)

by namjoonslube



Category: communism?, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst, Coming of Age, Communist Themes, Death, Fluff, I'm pretty sure what I just did is illegal in my country, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Slow Build, Social Justice, The Internationale, anguish, capitalism is the worst, fighting against adversity, it's actually crack but I tried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 17:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7810966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namjoonslube/pseuds/namjoonslube
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You were red, and you liked me coz I was red. You touched me and suddenly I was a commuinst sky. </p><p>But is communism for you?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, the Places You'd Go (If you weren't oppressed by class society and wage labour)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HoransonCrew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoransonCrew/gifts).



> IF THE YOONKOOK TAG WASN'T DEAD I WOULDN'T HAVE WRITTEN THIS @ AUTHORS PLS WRITE MORE YOONKOOK ILL BUY U DINNER

Jeongguk was feeling nasty today. He met a filthy capitalist on the street who stole his job bcoz of nepotism and was rich n filthy.

"DANG FLABBIT!" Jeongguk yelled. "WHERE IS COMMUNISM WHEN U NEED IT?"

He came up with the perfect plan to take over the world w/ cumiunism. He decided to go to xfactor and sing the internationale so he did.

"Cuuuuuuuumrades cum rally," he sang passionately.

He got a standing ovation, the judges were moved to tears,,,, it was beautiful.

"I'd luv 2 becum ur cumrade," said G Dragon, tears in his eyes.

"U rly showed us what music can do," commented IU, applauding Jeongguk for his brilliant performance.

"I rly luved it," said Simon. "Psymon? U r not Korean? Y u here?" Asked gguk.

"Call me mr. Worldwide," said Simon and disappeared.

"Congratulations Jeongguk, u made it to de Grand Finale," said Jyp. Jeongguk's plan had just begun, yet it was already running smoothly.

*GRAND FINALE TIME*

Jeongguk came on stage, and a crowd of minions (not the yellow ones) started chanting "CUM-U-NISM" even without him singing. Jeongguk's heart swelled with pride as he saw a red crowd wave red flags and fight capitalism.

Suddenly a rly hot guy came on stage and jeongguk wished he came in to his asshole instead wtf am I doing. So well, he came on stage and he looked hot and started rapping about cummunism and daddy's commies so Jeongguk was hooked.

"My tongue will send you to Leningrad," rapped Yoongi.

"Dang fLavvit," exclaimed Jeongfuk, deciding to sing along to the communist song of joy, atheism and economical equality.

"Wow ur voice is pretty," rapped Yoongi. "Compared to you, Che looked shitty."

Everyone knows Che is daddy (tm) and hot af so gguk was moved.

"Oppa,,,,,u r makin me blush,,,," blushed Jeongguk. "My cheeks r as red as the communist manifesto."

"Wen I saw u on xfactor I knew we were Seoulmates," yngi said and kneeled down.

"Will u marry me despite class society and wage labour being oppressive?"

"Yes," Guk cried. He never loved anything more than Yoongi. Even a classless society didn't appeal 2 him as much as the hot guy.

Dey had a civil wedding since dey fought religion & homophobia 4dematter and had 5 babies: Taengels, Namarx, Chimin, Lejin & hosa Luxemburg. Together with their children dey formed a punk rock band called Bangtan Commiedan, which opposed capitalism and class society. They performed many shows singing commie anthems and screaming "proletarians of all countries unite" making ppl support the left wing. The overtook capitalism just like Marx said the proletariat would which was gr9 and everyone WAs happy now.

Then they had lots of sex and did very gay cute shit. They cuddled in fucking Norway in Bon fucking Voyage fight me.  
THEY SHARED A BED PLS THEY MUSTVE CUDDLED AND BEEN GAY.

But Ye everything was great they were gay, the planet was communist and no more filthy capitalists eve again.

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> I rly am sorry I just wanted a yoonkook fic pls write yoonkook fics but not ones on tt @ 1 am like I did


End file.
